Being Changed
It’s funny what sticks with you. Someone told me “This will change you, grief changes you, every loss changes you.” That hit me. Yet my resolve is not to remain unchanged, but rather, if God is going to use this to change me, then may I let Him use this to change me for the better.
It would be easy to let this horrible event in my life change me for the worse. I assume that it would be the default.
This will have an effect, but I don’t want to become a victim of my situation. Not that I can say in this moment that I can become a victor. I will endeavor to grow to “become better not bitter”
This verse comes to mind. 1 Corinthians 15:51 But let me reveal to you a wonderful mystery. We will not all die, but We will all be Changed!
I know this is in reference to the belief that Christians hold that we look forward to Christ’s return; the promise that He may come even in our lifetime so that some of us may not taste death.
But for the moment I live in the reality of the fact that my son has died, and I have not, Yet I have been changed and am continuing to be changed as I go through this journey.
You too are being changed. You and I may not have a choice in the things that happen to us, or around us. And we may not even have a choice in whether we will change. But we can determine to engage in activities and exercises to lead ourselves into changes for the better or drift into changes for the worse.
Having been through this grief journey before the advice comes up: “You can do whatever you need to do or want to do to get through this as long as it doesn’t hurt you or somebody else.” I personally am not sure if that is sound advice. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything"—but not everything is constructive.
There are things I can do that will help me heal, there are things I can do that will hinder my healing. There are thought patterns and lines of questions I can let run free in my mind or there are things I can choose to focus on. I may not be able to stop every thought that comes up, but I can choose which ones to dwell on. (Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about (dwell on) such things.)
There are practices, and exercises that will draw me closer to God and things that will only numb my brain and prolong the pain.
I have been thinking a lot about how we are designed in the image and likeness of God. (Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness,…) We are created to be good, loving, Holy. That is why the Bible tells us to be Holy 1 Peter 1:16 for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
Anything other than that is evidence of or a result of brokenness, a departure from God’s original design for us. Now while some would expect goodness or demand it out of human strength, goodness is actually a result of spiritual and emotional health. And health whether physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual, is not a natural given, it requires disciplined self-care, exercise, and a healthy diet.
If I am to become better, especially in this time it will happen because of exercising my faith, through ministry, journaling, prayer, sharing, worship, giving thanks and rejoicing in God. Not because I necessarily feel like it, but because it will be beneficial to me. I don’t always feel like eating healthy, I don’t always feel like exercising, but whether I feel like it or not those things produce health in me.
It says in 2 Corinthians 3:18 And we all, who with uncovered faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
So I can run from God, I can hide from God I can think in my heart that God is unloving and cruel. Or I can run to God, I can dwell on, even in the questioning, that God is Good, God is Glorious and that He will work things out for my good as it says in Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
And if I am to grow spiritually to become a better version of myself, I need to make the decision and determine that I will do that, I will cooperate with God in what he desires to do in me. I won’t stay the same, I will move forward.
1 Peter 1:14 As obedient children, do not conform to your old way of life you had when you lived in ignorance.
Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
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