A Deep Love
I don’t know why I thought about it. But amid my pain, I thought to myself, would I change it? (Of course, I wish this hadn’t happened, Of course I cry thinking about what I could have done to prevent it, but the question I am asking is; “Would I never have had children if I knew it would hurt this much?”) You know the saying; it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. If I were to go back knowing that I would have lost my son at the age of 16, would I never have wanted a son. I f I were to know that I would lose two sons
Between Sam, the miscarriage, and Nate, I now have more children in heaven than I have with me here on earth. It is at times like this I think I have so much more reward in heaven than hope on earth. I guess that is always true though. It just takes times like these for us to realize it.
Today I hate the world. I am not talking about the people in it, I am talking about the brokenness of this age. All of it. The loss, the death, the temporal nature of it all. Is this what God was talking about when He told us in 1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.”?
As Jason Aldean sings in “Good to Go” “I’m not planning on leaving yet, but the truth is you just never know, …. I’m good to go.”
I find myself mor deeply understanding Paul’s internal struggle in Philippians 1:21-25 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith,
This world holds les and less value for me, except that I may be found faithful in it when I see Christ face to face.
But would I change it, would I live with less, would I not have wanted a family. But isn’t that what God says about us, and some even criticize Him for it. How it must break God’s heart when his children hurt one another when those He created in His own image, whose stories He has written to be good and eternal, reject Him and His Love and His precious promises.
He could have prevented all the pain, all the heartache by never creating the human race. Yet He chose to, and now I see….
If I, though far less loving than my eternal Father would do it all over again a thousand times and more even in the midst of my deepest darkest pain. How much more would God chose a thousand times over to let us live and choose. Even if we were to choose differently than He desires.
But I cannot fathom how My great heavenly Father would knowingly plan and release His only Begotten into the wounded world to be betrayed and suffer so that me and mine could enter into His eternal glory. But that is my great Hope, My firm foundations and my shield and fortress.
How Deep is the Father’s Love for Us
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