Decorations

I love Christmas, I really do.  I love the lights and decorations.  I love seeing houses decorated with lights.  Often, I wonder at the houses that are dark with no Christmas decorations this time of year.  But this year I wonder about the inside of the homes.  As I drive by houses with lots of lights and decorations in the yard, I wonder what the inside of the house looks like.  We always do lots of blow ups and lights on the house.  And this year is no different.  My wife, my son, and his friends… our friends have gotten all the blow ups out and the lights on the house. 

Bu on the inside, there is very little decoration.  The tree is up…. And the lights are on the tree, but even that what once was done in a weekend has now taken over a week.  But besides the tree there are no decorations on the inside of the house. 

It reminds me of Jesus’ words to the Pharisees, the religious leaders and hypocrites of His time. In Mathew 23:27 Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.

Though not unclean or wicked, yes in my grief, woe to me.  I even continue my Advent tradition for the Sundays leading up to Christmas of the Santa hat on top of my cowboy hat, the bright red button up shirt, and candy cane striped bow tie.  Though my smile is a little more forced and not as bright.  It is not hypocrisy; it is merely putting in the effort and working hard at celebrating even if I don’t feel like it as much.  And I say as much, because I still love this time of year, I still love the carols and the magical feeling of Immanuel, “God with Us.” And the celebration of the Saviors birth.  It’s just harder this year. 

And though beautiful on the outside, I feel like on the inside I am carrying around the bones of the dead, the memories of my son. As I think about the bones of the dead, more characteristic of my own soul than my son’s, for even now He is very much alive and celebrating the Savior in the presence of God. The bones of the dead that I carry are my own. 

And as I think of that I think of Ezekiel in the Valley of Bones.  (Ezekiel 37:1-14 By the Power of God Ezekiel prophesies to a valley of dry bones and they come together, and flesh comes on them and they come to life, no not like some zombie apocalypse horror movie, like true beautiful vibrant life.)

So though now for a season, for a season of mourning my soul feels like dry bones, I know by the power of Christ who is the Resurrection and the life, my soul will come alive again.  I will never stop loving Nate, I will never stop missing him till the day I am reunited with him in heaven, the grief will last my whole life, but this season of deep morning will come to an end.  And I will have vibrant life within me once again. 

And that is why I can, as the psalmist says, “Walk through the Valley of the Shadow of death.” (Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.)

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